Witnesses reported an unusually high concentration of birdies, confident iron shots, and unsolicited swing advice.

The match was completed without incident, though several members questioned whether either player should be allowed to park that close to the first tee.

The match has since been referred to internally as The Battle of the Disabilities.

Following the last event, the Commissioner reportedly received:

• "Lose my number."

• "I'm buying you a Farmer's Almanac next year."

• "If it rains again, I'm kicking you in the dick."

League officials continue to insist that weather cannot be scheduled.

Several members remain unconvinced.

The Commissioner's future remains uncertain.

Official Rain Golf Rules

As conditions deteriorate, members are reminded to follow the league's established Rain Golf Rules:

• If one guy says "it's only a passing shower," he is now responsible for all weather forecasting for the remainder of the round.

• "We're already wet" becomes the official answer to every weather-related question.

• Richmond Monson remains the league's official benchmark for terrible golfing conditions. Few events have come close.

• At least one player must announce he owns rain gear and then proceed not to bring it.

• The Commissioner is personally responsible for all rain, wind, mud, cart path puddles, and lost golf balls.